


Lover

by Sourest_Cherry_Scone_Baby



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Because Simon loves his boyfriend so much, Comforting from nightmares, Fluff, Hugs, Kisses, M/M, POV Simon Snow, Simon is just gushing about Baz in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 15:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20677838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourest_Cherry_Scone_Baby/pseuds/Sourest_Cherry_Scone_Baby
Summary: The thoughts Simon Snow has for his boyfriend, Baz Pitch.





	Lover

**Author's Note:**

> Show some love, this is my first Carry On fanfiction :) Right in time for Wayward Son.

Dear Lover,

Does that sound very poetic? Perhaps, it does. But I think for you, I can be anything, even a poet. Words and I may have a very complicated and strained relationship, but whenever you are involved, words come easy to me. I can go on and on describing you and the love I feel for you.

This is exactly what this letter is. This letter is just what I feel for you, what I think of you. Things I have shown in my actions, but have never said out loud because words failed me then. Not now. Not today. Today, I'll tell you everything. I'll tell you all. I'll tell you how much I love you.

Who'd have thought that Baz Pitch, _fucking ruthless Baz Pitch_, was capable of being the gentlest of lovers ever known to mankind?

But you are. You are the most gentle, most caring person I know, treating me like I'm the most precious thing ever, someone to be loved, held and cherished. I never felt like that with anyone, I never felt so wanted by anyone. But with you, I do. The way you love me, the way you kiss me, the way you touch my body, the way you hold me close, it has all become so beautifully familiar now. It's soft, exhilarating and it makes me feel happy. Nothing else, just plain happy and that's such a beautiful emotion to feel, because suddenly, things don't seem so dark anymore and I feel light, like I'm floating.

_You_ make me feel like that. You make me feel genuinely happy. You make me smile by just existing. 

When I have nightmares, you're the one who holds me close, whisper in my ear, tell me it's not real and who is there for me, no matter what. You hold me till I stop shaking, till my heart stops racing and my breathing evens out. When I have nightmares, you never let me go, never make me feel scared and alone again.

When it's a bad day for me, you hold my hand and say nothing but your quiet presence is more than enough to get me through the day. On those days, you kiss me only if I feel up to it. Your lips are comforting. They are like the soothing touch of the first drops of rain on parched earth.

When I'm happy, you smile and laugh with me, tease me and make fun of my eating habits. Those are days when you snog the hell out of me, when I can't have enough of you and you can't have enough of me.

Having sex with you- I can _imagine_ your smirk right now- is something I can never quite get used to. Sometimes it's nothing but pure passion and desire, rough kisses and heavy breathing. But sometimes, it's _magical_. When you're slow, soft and so caring, when you trail your tender kisses all over my body, you make me feel that my body and every part of me is cherished. I love you so much then, my heart feels like it will swell with all the happiness and with all the love I feel for you.

Whenever you visit me, you greet me with a gentle kiss on my lips. Whenever you leave, you give me that kiss again. It's our way of saying _hello_ and _I'll see you later_. I think many other people do that too, but that doesn't mean it's not special for me.

I like it when we cook together, when I play around with the ingredients and you let me. When your hair from your bun gets loose and falls around your face, you look so stunningly gorgeous, I can't keep my eyes off you. Not that I ever can. I like to look at you. A lot.

Speaking of which, your eyes are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. They're grey. I mean of course you know, but still.

Sometimes, they look like storm clouds, sometimes they look like wet pavement and sometimes they look like the colour of the ocean. Up close, I can see the blue and green specks in them and I marvel that I can see them because I'm allowed to be close to you and stare into your stunning eyes as much as I want to. It awes me. That I can look at you as much as my heart desires, awes me.

I like the way your muscles flex when you move, how your body looks like a flawless porcelain sculpture, ethereal and hypnotizing. You are all elegance and pure beauty, limbs long and lithe and graceful.

I like it when you call me 'love'. The way the word rolls off your lips effortlessly, and how fond you sound everytime leaves me breathless. I like it _so much_ when you call me love. You love me, I know that, and knowing that is comforting in ways I can't explain. It's not just the words that prevent me from explaining that feeling, it's the feeling itself. It's overwhelmingly beautiful.

Baz Pitch, you are _perfect_.

There had once been a time when I thought that your vampirism was the only thing that was holding you back from being perfect. I was so wrong because Baz, you are perfect despite being a vampire. I don't care that you are one. I never would.

I just know that you are my boyfriend, a person who has a heart of gold, mind sharper than a knife, body more elegant and beautiful than anyone's. A person who loves and loves and loves. A person who is my lifeline, the one who holds my heart.

Baz, I love you.

You once told me I was the sun. That you kept on crashing into me. That you thought I was a bright and untouchable thing, far out of your reach. 

I'm not. I am yours. I always have been. I always would be.

You are my entire universe and you hold me. You're a mystery but at the same time, you're so simple. You're endless. You're beautiful.

You're _mine_. I feel so proud to say that you're mine. I'd never tire of saying that.

I love you. I won't ever be able to express it enough.

_I love you_.

Love,  
Simon.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me how you liked it!


End file.
